At last (as Etta James once sang) comes the month of romance, the holiday of love. It’s the time of year where we make careful note to do something special for those we hold closest to our hearts. For some, it’s the one day of the year to send that card, confess our feelings and ask the burning question: Will you be my valentine?
While many theories speculate on the origins of Valentine’s Day, we know for sure it’s a celebration full of love and lust. And when the day of love and romance fades into an evening of magic and sensuality, the depths of our hearts – and often, other parts – try to spark something new. Maybe it’s all of the dry, static-charged winter air …
Here at Dusty Flynt Sexy Gifts, we don’t carry “Be Mine” greeting cards. Rather, we provide the kind of products that don’t need flowery words to create feelings of excitement and intimacy.
1. Massage oils – The art of massage has numerous benefits, improving physical and mental well-being. Stress and anxiety impose on the body’s ability to become aroused and have an orgasm. Massage helps release tension and supports the body in flushing stress hormones and other toxins. Both giving and receiving a massage with your partner allows you to get rid of stress, become closer and help set the mood for a night full of passion and intimacy. Try a simple massage oil such as Intimate Earths Fragrance Free massage oil to set the mood.
2. Games– Allowing ourselves to find the child within is something adults tend to forget as we get older. In our daily lives filled with work and other stressors, we often fail to seek out the things we once did when we were younger. Games are a fun, stress-free way to spend time with your partner. It’s a way more interactive way of connecting than scrolling through Netflix trying to agree on something to watch. Board games allow us to develop unique ways of communicating (a key component in relationships). Playing board games brings us closer to each other. It requires everyone to participate equally and communicate with one another (plus, flirty competitiveness never hurt, either.) Bring out a new board game on Valentine’s Day and it might become a cherished tradition to set the mood for more playtime in bed.
3. Baths– Taking a bath or shower with your partner is one of the most sensual acts a couple can do (yes, even more so than sleeping in the same bed.) Bathing with your partner is seriously underrated: Lovers get clean, skin to skin, able to discover each other entirely. Bathing also is an act of exposure, and while the idea of being naked and vulnerable to another human can be erotic, it’s often terrifying, as well. Some of us are used to hiding “flawed” body parts in the dark during sex. Bathing together is a warm, safe place to let our guards down and see those flaws as fabulous, unique variations. It might not happen right away, but bathing or showering together is the perfect way to relax and completely open up to your partner. It’s an erotic chance to explore each other in a way you can’t between the sheets. Sliquid has created the perfect line of bubble baths and body washes to do so. With gentle bubbling lather and delicious scents, these bath products are the perfect add-on for getting down and dirty when you’re washing clean.
4. Oral Sex– There’s no feeling that beats sexual healing. As part of that treatment, oral sex is as common – and expected – as intercourse. Exploring, feeling, and tasting your partner is a stimulating way to deeply explore them. Fellatio and cunnilingus allow you to connect with them, learn what makes go crazy and help relax the body prior to intercourse. New to oral sex? An oral sex enhancer might be something that helps turn you on to the art. Crazy Girl developed both oral sex gel for him and her; with sweet, fruity flavors, these might be your next go-to when it’s time to go down.
5. Lube– Lube, lube, there are so many jokes around the heavy, medicinal-seeming lube of generations past. The big myth about lube is that it’s compensation for a failure to produce enough on one’s own. Nothing could be further from the truth. We’re big proponents of the concept that “wetter is better”; using a quality lubricant helps both parties maintain a comfortable level of friction. Better friction creates better rhythm during intercourse and increases the chances of climax for everyone involved.
Lube isn’t just limited to intercourse, either. It’s perfect for foreplay with a partner and even solo play. While there are many types of lubricants out there, water-based is one of the most common due to quick clean-up time. Silicone lubricants have more longevity; however, they are not compatible with silicone toys. Oil-based lubes do exist, but they are not compatible with condoms or toys.
Honestly, there is no wrong way to choose lube that works best for you; and the best part is, the research is fun! Pjur has created lubricants that contains water-based and silicone ingredients; there’s also a line geared to anal play. Due to those basic ingredients, Piur is a good starter lube if you’re unsure about quality and allergies.
6. Bullets– Bullets (typically small, oval-shaped vibrating devices controlled by a battery pack) are a perfect way of introducing toys in the bedroom. They’re one of the most versatile toys out there, with nearly unlimited uses (skip the backdoor play, though). Using bullets with and on your partner allows you to explore different pleasures and heightens both oral and genital intercourse. Most bullets are simple and chic in design, appearing as less intimidating for beginners. The tiny yet mighty devices offer multiple vibration features, and some are waterproof, creating another opportunity for inventive exploration. Bullets are a terrific double-threat (for orgasm) when used clitorally on a woman during intercourse, or even on the base of the shaft for a man receiving oral. Let’s not forget about nipple play!
Unsure where to start? We-Vibe Tango has a lot of buzz around it!
7. Male Masturbators– There is nothing wrong with a little “me time.” And while the holiday includes your partner, solo masturbation is one way to increase and benefit your intimate life. Many times, men seek out ways to last a little longer, to make that erection become a little firmer. Masturbation does just that, and helps with stamina, decreases stress and depression, and puts you in a better mind set for sex. If the standard hand routine has gotten stale, try using a masturbation aid to change things up.
8. Glass Toys– Glass sex toys are one of the most exquisite examples of luxury. They offer easier clean up, no lube restrictions, can be used for temperature play, and (with proper care) will last a lifetime. They are non-porous and come in a variety of styles guaranteed to hit all of your pleasure spots. Glass toys can be found as dildos, plugs, female g-spot-directed and even male p-spot-directed; these elegant objects are a new way of bringing fun and class to your intimate life.
9. Couples Toys– for a long time, finding toys that both partners can play with together was impossible, particularly those that could be used during sex. The times are changing, bringing a wave of couples toys that provide new sensations during sex. The heightened vibrations you and your partner experience together will help bring you closer during climax.
10. Fetish/BDSM– These two terms may seem intimidating, especially for those who have never experienced it. But introducing fetish or BDSM into your intimate life can be a rewarding journey. When done correctly, BDSM (short for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism) is about communication, respect, and trust. All are critical factors; learning about the “right way” to do things requires complete communication between both parties, particularly as boundaries, wants, and needs are established.
One caveat we’d like to add: Don’t be too eager. Starting off slowly is preferred and a great way to learn the yesses, the noes, and the maybes between you and your partner. Once you both have established boundaries, the doors to increased sexual satisfaction open wider. Bed restraints or cuffs are often common ground and the most comfortable to start with. Be safe and have a lot of fun.
While we might not be able to help you say, “I love you,” we are always happy to provide you with ways of showing it. We hope this Valentine’s Day is full of new sparks and old flames, and most importantly: Good Vibes Only.